Mixed emotions

Way back, before Ad's Dad got ill, we hatched plan for a Romanian Road trip during these holidays. As his illness progressed the prospect of needing to cancel/change plans meant that the idea of the trip became overwhelmingly anxiety provoking, rather than exciting. So, those plans were shelved. In some senses it turns out that that was unnecessary. 

Our next set of plans invovled heading off to see my parents on the Isle of Skye for the week. A chance to regather and relax after the last few months. Obviously, those plans were shelved a few weeks back too.

So I sit, with some awareness of the privilige of holidays - whether they come to fruition or not. 

And I sit with hope, that our planned trip to Skye will be able to take place later this year.

And I am grateful that my leave wasn't cancelled, so that Adam's birthday could be a good day.

But I'm sad, and tired, and anxious. And somehow it doesn't feel OK to say that, or even feel that. I see so many posts on social media that go against every message of 1) be kind and 2) it's OK to not be OK. Not blip. Just out there. I should spend more time on blip 

extras - my one tree, the birthday boy and my kitchen helper for the day.