Scene of devastation

My poor garden is being decimated by the bored family. I am trying valiantly to prevent them destroying everything but they seem to have a desire to ‘tidy’ everything.
This means removing anything that sticks out or up as far as I can tell. Hopefully, apart from the conifers which I also hate, most will recover in the end. We appear to have five hundredweight bags full of green waste - not entirely sure what to do with it seeing as there are no green waste collections, the tip is shut, and bonfires are banned.