Down and Out

I've felt so anxious today that I actually forgot about a parent meeting I had first thing. 

I've listened to an awful lot of catastrophising from certain family members, and after a huge blazing row last night, my hand has been forced. I won't be going back into school as if I do, I'll be forced to self-isolate by myself and I'm not prepared to spend weeks and weeks alone. I've been yelled at that I'm a (insert expletive here) carrier, despite having no symptoms myself and not being around anyone who has. Although I'm really sad, I'm relieved that at least I'm not dumping on my colleagues as we'll be shutting on Friday, but I would have one hundred per cent carried on if it weren't for family issues. 

I think it's quite frightening what's happening, but all I can do is surrender to it all because we have no control. College is happening this week but afterwards I think it will be a while before we resume, if at all, and that is a huge blow. Blackpool dancing has been rescheduled for July, which in a way is better for me as I wasn't particularly prepared! The only downside is if we're in the midst of a heatwave, but that's the least of our worries at the moment. Plus I'd hurt my back and it will give it more time to recover. 

It's a bit like the Christmas holidays again, the enforced incarceration with your family. It really highlights to me that this type of situation is bearable if you've got a nice one, but if you haven't it feels like a sort of punishment. I'm worried for all of those "in-the-middle" kids, who aren't technically classed as a vulnerable group, but for whom school is a place of stability and security that they perhaps don't get at home.