Hard work

Today, despite being pretty impassive except to shout, feeling disconnected and distracted and a bit of a failure, I have still managed to be beautiful in the eyes of my Bean, made two miniature drumkits for the boys, and have successfully pulled a giant splinter out of my Bear's knee with Bean actively helping to distract the Bear.

I have finished one of my commissioned platters, made some recycled homemade paper hearts, drawn on a mug (I think I may have to do another one with these words, just for me...), and actually played with the boys briefly(!). Hubby has plastered the bathroom ceiling - hurrah!

I have watched with absolute joy as Bean saw Bear's drumkit and asked for one of his own, then sat and played it with utter delight: my little drummer boy is still alive and kicking and still very much in love with his drums!

I have had encouragements and comforts from unexpected places in the form of chocolates and flowers and bible verses, relevant and hugely comforting blog posts popping up in my inbox, and hymn-prayers via text message.

I am blessed, I am loved, I am grateful, I am thankful.

And tomorrow I will make a mahoosive effort and I will tip my chin up, get dressed, and fake it until it becomes real again.