Dublin airport jokes

I’m writing this from the future. So I can now go over and over in my head for how I could have planned this differently, but here goes.

12am - Dublin airport. Chirpily ringing Mum and Dad, who have Phil and Phylis round. I tell them all my funny airport baggage mishaps. We all laugh. They warn me not to sleep and lose my luggage. I have my „file of life“ ft. Birth certificate etc., MacBook, SLR.

1am - Gosh this is a rubbish airport. Very expensive. Hungry. No books as too heavy in the luggage. Kindle dead. Must stay awake.

Let’s ring my friend from Dublin. To be sure to be sure! My dad will pick you up from the airport now!

2am - Walkinstown, Dublin. Eating homemade brownies in my friend Cillian’s house with his siblings and easy-going parents who thought nothing of me arriving spontaneously at night.

3am - Bit of kip in their lounge.

3.30am - what if I can’t get a taxi. Better to just go now and be there.

4am - Check in luggage for 6.30 flight. Plenty of time. Hash browns and cup of tea in McDonald’s. So tired.

5am - Security, waiting at gate. Have alarms so I don’t fall asleep.

6 - ok I’ll get in the queue. Ooh bit of phone juice would be good to I can call mum when I arrive. Sits down. Eyes close.

Opens eyes. GATE CLOSED. Noooooooooo.

Nice airport man: Next flight costs €146 without luggage. But you can have one hour to collect your luggage and use our missed flight policy. Then you can pay €100 to be put on for next flight to Bristol. This will include your luggage. Get going!

Rush rush rush, queue queue queue. No spots on next flight to Bristol. Paid to go on standby. Must now stay awake for 5 more hours and update mum with the plan. She is very nice and understanding about me falling asleep.

12.30pm - there are Spaces! The hunchback Trick from the previous day also works again!

With the help of mum I arrive at Centre Parcs for the hen do, stinky and exhausted. Hooray!