The Sun Hat

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

At work, today was my last Smock-less day. It has been so relaxing not having her there with her endless witter. 

"Tis the end of ye're FREEEEEEDOM!" said Steve the Scouser, doing a terrible Scottish accent.

I celebrated by taking a long lunch and meeting up with Lemon. She gave me a big hug and told me all the news. 

First of all, her daughter shaved her head. She did this as a gesture of support for a friend who is going through chemo. She asked Lemon to do it for her.

"I'm not doing it," responded Lemon. "Ask your father."

"He won't do it EITHER," said daugher.

"Yes he will," said Lemon. "He's drunk."

So, sure enough, after a bit of slurred resistance, Daughter had her head shaved.

The next morning her father woke up with a start. "Did I shave my daughters' HEAD last night??"

Apparently it was quite emotional at first, but Daughter has got herself a hat and is feeling better about things. But Lemon told me it is really useful for shopping. 

"You should SEE the level of service I get if she takes her hat off!" exclaimed Lemon. "It's all, 'No trouble at all!!' and 'If there's ANYTHING ELSE we can do!!!!' It really restores my faith in human nature."

Meanwhile, her grandson, "The Boy" is going through a "no knickers" phase.

"I go to pick him up and he's ready to go out," Lemon told me. "He's got on his jacket and his gumboots and no knickers. I ask him if he's forgotten something and he replies, 'No gwanny! Weady!'"

Lemon is not one to make a fuss over a little thing (if you'll pardon the pun). So she put him in the back of the car with Daughter. But he was sliding back and forth in the child seat. 

"Gwanny! Gwanny! Dick hurts! Sore dick!" he cried.

"Don't you mean 'dong-dong'?" asked Lemon, disapprovingly.

"Nooooo," replied The Boy. "Peeeeeee-nis."

"It's his father who taught him 'dick'," Lemon told me.

"So every time I touched the brakes, all I could hear was 'dick-dick-dick', coming from the back seat," said Lemon. "So I told him to put something down there. And then he quietened down."

But then there was another outraged cry from the back seat.

"Hey! That's my effing hat!"

Apparently The Boy offered the hat back to the Daughter. But she chose to go with the Better Customer Service look instead. To be honest, I can see her point.

Meanwhile, EVERYONE can see The Boy's. 

S.