Men Without Hats

My Dear Princess and Dear Fat Pete,

Steve the Scouser is a bad influence. 

He and Goran the Serbian have been sitting in the two desks next to me for the last 3 working days. I know this would infuriate Smock no end. 

"Now I see Goran is sitting opposite us today. I just wanted to warn you that he LIKES TO CHAT," she warned me.

It is true, he does. But on the plus side, it is not about his FECKING FAVOURITE PLASTIC BAG when I am trying to concentrate, but Smock would not care. As far as she is concerned SHE is the only one allowed to distract me with her inane bollocks.

But Smock is away. And what she doesn't know, won't hurt her.

Steve is mischievous. He openly flicks the V's at the little pictures of people when he is on a Skype chat with them. Then he took out his marker and gave one lady a moustache. 

I gave him my pad of stickies and encouraged him to make little hats for them. He made a cowboy hat and a pirate hat. Today's blip is of the pirate hat.

He has been given PILES of boring documents to read by Jan. Who will not use 5 words if 20 will do. He was exasperated as what to feed back on them. I told him to make up some high-level bullshit. "Half-arse it," I told him. "That's what I would do."

"But what if someone asks me about it?" he replied.

I gave him the best gift I have ever received from a fellow IT colleague.

"Repeat after me," I told him, "That's an implementation level detail."

He thought about it. "That's BRILLIANT," he replied.

"I know," I said. "And they can't deny it, because it always IS."

"It's like, 'That would be an ecumenical matter'," he said.

So then we started talking about Father Ted. It made the day go by very swiftly.

One of Smock's minions is coming in tomorrow. She will want to sit next to me so that she can tell me all about her sickly children and I will miss out on the chat. 

I'm in grieving already.

S.