Two Years Ago Tonight

Today I was doing a hospital visit with one of our gals who got a new hip. Walking to her room I own all the memories, or maybe I should say all the feelings I have for this place.

It was two years ago tonight that would be a considerably dark time for Lauralea and I. She had rushed me in when I developed a fever after minor day surgery. While I got sicker and sicker, the Doctors worked furiously to find out what the infection might be, so they could treat it.

That night I moved from shivering cold to burning hot. I was in and out of a daze all night and the kind nurses worked with such care to try to help me get through to the morning.

I recall in the haze the doctor standing beside me saying how sick I was. He wanted me to understand how bad it was. Seriously. Quite bad. Later he told me he wasn’t sure I’d make the night.

The next morning they still didn’t have the bacteria identified but something needed to be done. Between the doctors and the pharmacists they concocted an antibiotic soup to have the best chance to get at the infection.

By noon they began pumping it into my veins and by late afternoon I took a turn for the good.

Oh my it was good to slow the shaking, and eventually to stop sweating. For days the things I saw whenever I closed my eyes were just amazing.

I was in for ten days, and there were setbacks but eventually they let me go home. It was six weeks before they would let me work again. It was pretty sobering certainly for us, but I remember it was for the doctors too.

I learned that I am expendable. That even though I have a lot invested in me, the number of my days could be completed at any time. It was properly humbling.

I learned that my mind and spirit are amazing. The things I saw when my eyes were closed were better and more creative than any 4K screen.

I learned that adult pull-ups are just the best things ever, when you’re so sick you can’t get to the washroom.

I experienced how kind, gracious and good the nursing staff is. I recall one nurse sitting beside my bed brushing her hand across my face and hair as I lay shaking in such pain.

I learned new things about Lauralea and our family. (that dark humour is still humour, and our family is particularly good at it. :)
About our church family and being a pastor in such a vulnerable state. I have many stories now. Some will probably never leave my heart.

So when I walk those halls to visit someone,
I still find those feelings close to the surface.

Tonight I feel properly sober about it all. But also sort of like celebrating that it’s been two years already. Time is different now.