Arse.

The game's a bogey, a wheel's come aff, the ba's burst.

Mrs FP released the 'daft end' of the tape measure. it rattled back into the case and promptly disappeared. The hook had snapped off (the wiggly bit at the end of the measure - it wiggles to allow you to read from true zero whether measuring from an outside edge or to an inside edge.

Honestly the lengths some people go to.