A Full Day

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

I worked from home today. This is because we had a painter in to cover up some damage from when Caro took down her stick-on white board and bits of the paintwork came with it.

I wasn't in the least annoyed about this. I would much rather have cats as co-workers than Smock. But it wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped as I also had to go into town to get some papers witnessed by a justice of the peace. Why, I don't bloody know. They were just loan agreements.

But on our way back home, the day was brightened when we bumped into LouLou, who is always good for a laugh. 

LOULOU: So excited you are moving near us. SO EXCITED!!

(Note: When LouLou gets excited she does this thing with her voice where she sounds a bit like Fozzie bear. Now you know).

LOULOU: When are you moving?
CARO: On the 10th. 
LOULOU: Wow! That's fast.
CARO: Well, Miranda would only give us an extra week after we gave notice. And - get this - because our rent goes up at the start of February, she is charging us an extra $25 for that week.
LOULOU: Seriously? What a c***!

(Another thing you should know about LouLou. She goes straight for the c***.)

ME: It's all right. I already have the $25 pre-wiped for her. 

(And here I mimed doing something disgusting with the bank notes).

LOULOU: Well, touch wood it all goes well.

(At this point she sprinted off down the street, leaving me and Caro perplexed. But it turns out she was looking for wood to touch. She came sprinting back.)

CARO: It's going to be a really busy week though. I've got my sister coming up next week as well, but she says she's going to help move some stuff up early.
LOULOU: Oh Feefs! And how is the - uh - the "down there" laser treatment going?
CARO: She got turned away for not shaving her bum properly last time.
LOULOU: Oh no! The shame! But then again a friend of mine got turned away from having her cl*t pierced. 
CARO: Really?
LOULOU: Yes! They said it was "too veiny". 
CARO: Oh my god!
LOULOU: And now I've placed that image in your head... byeeeee.

And she was gone. That's LouLou.

After this, Caro went to have her hair done, and I went back to work with the cats. So I watched three horror films and wrote a document. This is far more civilised than doing it in the office. 

The painter guy turned up and I corralled cats. He was finished in just an hour and then Caro came home with LONG hair. "The short hair was too mumsy," she explained. 

Then we had to go and do a final house inspection. It's quite a good idea. The real estate agent says it is for things like when you turn up and find the previous residents have left it full of rubbish so you can charge them for a skip before you complete the deal. In our case there was nothing like that, so we just got to have another look around and check things like hot water and light switches and such. 

The house now has the SOLD sign outside it, so obviously a blippertunity. The real estate agent saw me and offered to take a picture of us WITH the sign. Which obviously is my idea of hell, but Caro was into it so I showed some enthusiasm, being a good husband and all that. 

Unfortunately, the effing real estate agent DICKED ABOUT for ages. Lots of, "Oh. Er. Which button is it? Oh the sun is right in the line of sight. Er. Maybe if I turn the camera around..."

So I had to LOOK HAPPY for about five effing minutes! Caro flipped through the photos later and said they are like an animation of me going from happy to FECKED OFF quite quickly.

But Caro also got a chance to measure the living room and compile her list of the things we need to do to the place after moving in. I think the list goes like this, in order of importance:

- Heat pump/air conditioning installation
- Enclosed pergola for the cats
- New kitchen
- New bathroom
- Lizard garden landscaping
- Convert garage into 2nd bathroom, extend front of house

She seems happy to organise all this. I shall just provide my share of the cash. 

When we got home it was late and we just collapsed onto the couch. But then Punky did a projectile vomit all over the spare bedroom. So now I have to take the duvet to the dry-cleaners.

Caro admitted that she will be glad when this is all over and we can tackle things one bit at a time. I am with her on this. But, working from home. I'm into it. I may have to do that again.

S.