Sun's Out

It makes such a difference when the sun's out! I took this a few days ago, now we're back to the standard grey and drizzle.

Another knackering week. I had a really good therapy session this week. I did my timeline (which I had avoided at college) and brought it along, together with a photo of me and my sisters. I don't know why, my brain just works better with pictures I suppose.

I did ask my therapist to read through a piece of work I need to hand into my tutor. I think I was searching for confirmation that it's the 'right' thing to do. She was really encouraging, and said she felt a bit tearful! I hope it is well received where it really counts. I felt buoyed up and it felt good to 'do the work' as my tutor says. 

College went ok too. I spoke for the check-in without too much stress, and we had a good session doing research for our assignment in our groups. When we were all back together there was quite a bit of debate about what activity we should do, as we were all a bit off after a few weeks or different projects. Somebody suggested a PD group, but she said she was worried that if we did that then the quieter members of the group would just glaze over. I did feel under pressure to join in, but as is always the case, there were quite a few times I wanted to contribute with a relevant story/example, but the thread moved on! I did speak three times, and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. We were discussing self-worth and what it's all about, and I talked about how the children in my class have started asking if they can have a stamper on their hand before they will do something like tidy up! 

I felt physically sick when conversation earlier turned to Level 4, and in a way it makes me want to cry! But I've faced far harder battles than this one, and if sharing in a group is what it takes then I'll damn well do it.

I didn't come home with massively fuzzy feelings, and it took me a while to settle. But I think on reflection I should feel proud of myself, and I just hope that I can turn the corner and have more confidence in sharing my ideas/thoughts with everyone else.

Documenting this in detail as a way to hold myself somewhat accountable I guess ;-)


School wise I've endured full on screaming over most days this week, and I'd be lying if I said it had been easy. But it's part of the job. I just need a weekend to relax and de-stress!