for being lucky enough

Those “crying in the shower” scenes in rom-com movies are not myths. I know, because I just experienced my second mid-shower meltdown.

My phone, on top of the sink, was blasting out “Do I Wanna Know” by Arctic Monkeys, and I was thinking about how awful the next week would be. Then came the tears and the whimpers.

The first one was back in June of 2018. It happened on the night of the high school entrance exam. I could not help but think, think and think about how big of a disgrace I was. Mom tried to calm me down but was rather unsuccessful, I was still crying my heart out as the confused hair dresser dried my wet hair.

Today was pretty similar. I thought of being a failure, and cried my heart out. Yet, I am grateful, even if it is the smallest bit. Yesterday, she got mad at me for crying over "useless" matters when people sharing the same blood as me were dying back in my country.

I am grateful for being alive, alive enough to cry over what my friends think of me, what my grades say about me, what my future will be.

Thank God I still have such privileges.