Social Media & Mental Health

Why do I share online? Do I want to continue? Is it good for my mental health or a hindrance? 

I've been quiet on here for a while, and almost completely stopped with other forms of social media. Partly because I was going through an emotionally turbulent time, and I never know what to say on those days. I don't like the concept of posting something untrue, an idealised version of my life that is unrealistic and not real. Blipping also became intrusive, like a feeling of obligation, which didn't seem to serve me. 

It also doesn't help scrolling through endless posts that remind you of what you don't have. That part of social media use, the zombified scroll until it tells me I'm all caught up, is hopefully a habit I've kicked forever. It didn't make me feel good, didn't teach me anything and I think I can use my time more productively than that. 

I've got rid of mindless scrolling and I'm learning to reach out to specific people in a more direct way if I need support. Which is good, I think. So, if I don't want to portray an unrealistic, too positive view of my world, I'm left with two choices: more or less content. 

I could post more often, daily if I feel like it, without feeling obliged to, but post honestly, and give some of the real me to my online self. Which sounds like it could be terrifying and potentially unwise. Do I want a real version of myself shared with strangers and big multinational companies? 

Or I delete all of my accounts, say sod it! If people want to talk to me they can message me directly to find out how I am, and if I lose contact with people then that's an OK sacrifice of acquaintances. 

As usual, the answer is probably somewhere in between, balance. I'm supposedly an expert on myself, but I don't feel like that with this issue. The art, the moment of taking photos is something magical. Getting notifications that my posts are liked feels great and I enjoy responding to comments. Feeling like I 'must' respond in a certain time or 'have' to post things is not a welcome part of my existence. 

For now, I will be taking the pressure off of myself. Maybe some days I feel like sharing an image with no words, some days I can post a long rambling essay on my thoughts or my journey. Some days I will not leave the house or attempt to create a photo of merit and just eat chocolate. On all days, I will accept these choices as valid. I do not exist to post things online. I exist for the sheer thrill of it. Some of this will be shared.