Gardening for Lizards

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

I may have given the impression in the past week that EVERYONE is more excited about the presumptive house-purchase than me. That's sort of true and sort of not. 

The fact is, merely buying the house does not make me go "wheeee!" in the same way that Feefs does. What wets my whistle though, are all the opportunities that house-ownership confers. 

For example, I've been taking a virtual tour of the neighbourhood via Google maps and am very pleased at how convenient for everything the house is. Just five minutes walk to the railway station, ten minutes to the shopping centre and fifteen to the multiplex. 

I may even end up going to the movies more than I do in the city centre. That would be good. I've definitely stopped going as much as I used to and I miss it. 

The other thing which excites me, and this may surprise you, is the tiny garden area. You may recall from the pictures that most of our backyard is dominated by a large deck. That's good. We are planning on turning that into a "catio" for the boys. My modest plan was for a pergola sort of a thing with lattice across it so the boys are kind of outside but unable to get out. 

This is partially because I do not want them killing birds, but mostly because the pair of them are effing USELESS and would undoubtedly end up getting lost, or run under a car. 

It turns out that Caro's plan for the catio is a lot more ambitious than mine. I think she's almost planning a "sun room" out there. It sounds lovely. I think the boys would be into that.

But still, that leaves a triangle of garden that leads into a deep gully beyond our fence line. We peered into that gully when we looked at the house. It is completely overgrown and wild and I wonder what fauna may lurk in there. 

Therefore I've been thinking I'd like to dig up the crappy lawn back there and replace it with an area of native plants that will encourage birds, insects and lizards. I like the idea of putting up bird boxes* and bird feeders. Of planting native flax and kowhai which will bring in the nectar drinking birds. And of allowing insects to flourish which will encourage adorable little fantail birds and even NZ's native owl, the morpork**.

The actual look of the garden I could give not a shit about. I just want a nice haven for birds and butterflies and bees. And lizards. I have been reading a web page called, "Gardening for Lizards" which is all about planting cover for the little fellows, and creating nooks and crannies for them to hide in. 

The best thing about all this is that, once you have done it, you CANNOT disturb it, because this will frighten the lizards away. Or in other words, when Caro asks me to get off my lazy arse and do some pruning I'll be able to tell her, "Sorry, I can't. Because lizards."

So that's my plan. 

The other terribly useful thing I have accomplished today is to find a website called doesthedogdie.com. The reason this is awesome is that this is a website for people like me who cannot watch films wherein animals suffer or die. Basically, people write in to the website with spoilers on if and how any animals (not just dogs) die in a film. 

I tried a few examples, and honestly when you read a few in a row it sounds just TERRIBLE to be an animal in a film:

A FISH CALLED WANDA: "Three dogs are inadvertently killed. Additionally, several pet fish are eaten alive, including Wanda."
STRANGER THINGS: "In season 2, episode 4, a cat is eaten by a demogorgon."
CAT'S EYE: "A cat is wounded by a tiny monster, and threatened with euthanasia but ultimately lives. However, a parakeet is killed by the tiny monster."
RING OF BRIGHT WATER: "Otter is killed with a shovel."
DEAD CALM: "Dog is killed with a harpoon gun."
JOHN WICK: "Puppy is shot and it is horrible. BUT John Wick spends the rest of the movie deliberately, gloriously, and violently avenging the dog, so it feels really pro-dog overall."

Just think how much heartache this website could have saved us all if we'd known about it sooner. First lizard-gardening and now this. The internet is truly a wonderful place. 

S.

* Although if Sandra Bullock comes blundering in wearing a blindfold I shall tell her to GTF.

** Because that is what they say. I have heard them calling "more pork!" at dusk. But I have never seen one.