Busted

You just can't get the help these days. He even tried to claim afterwards that it wasn't his fault, but I saw his guilty and appalled reaction.

I needed to completely redo a hanging thingamajig because of this. I can't remember whose stupid idea it was to make a kind of mobile out of glass baubles, but - oh. It was mine. Anyway... Luckily, I saw the best thing in Chipping Campden - a humongous gilded bauble that even my little helper here would struggle to break - so I'm using that instead. Decorations: finis.

Smugness score: 10/10.

By the way, in this family, we're all what Daniel Craig's character in Knives Out describes as drama mamas - but thus far only one of us has been shortlisted for a BAFTA.

Proud Mummy score: 11/10.