Phantasmagoria

More mattress musings.....

The trouble with life is that we don’t have enough time, we don’t know how much of it we’ve got and the present moment doesn’t really exist.

Unless of course you are the master of meditation, which I am not, there is only the past and the future. 
Looking back affords you endless examples of how you could have handled things better.

And looking forwards suggests a fever-inducing plethora of thing that you cock up in the days to come.
So being happy is always a challenge.

I definitely had a period of being quite good at being happy when I was in my early 20s.
I had escaped the control of my parents.
I was my own man and at long last free from the things that bothered me most: being told what to do; and being judged all the time.

Now, a heartbeat later, I am incredibly lucky to have a wife and three sons who I love, but of course now I realise that after a fleeting illusory relationship with freedom, everything I do is for them, and that after I am gone, it is my kids who will be the real judges of how I did.

And I don’t know if I’m doing that well.

Matthew White

Today I heard this track and had to turn it off. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k