The muddy feet of happiness

I had intended to think up a Blip to commemorate Rosa Luxemburg today as its the second Sunday of January - traditionally the day when people gather at the Landwehr Canal in Berlin where her body was dumped. I changed my mind however after I read some horrible news last night in Neil Gaiman's blog. He has been one of my favourite writers for a number of years and I have been following his blog for ages, during that time he has detailed his meeting, adopting and falling in love with his dog Cabal. On Friday Cabal suddenly died of a heart attack.

This is one of those situations where one feels one knows someone through their work and their public persona but of course in reality one does not really know them personally at all. In other words I have no real right to be saddened by this beyond the natural sympathy anyone would have for a stranger who has lost a friend. The thing is though that reading the regular journal entries about Cabal's antics and his getting old and his consequent health problems has mirrored my own experience of how I feel about Jake and the facts of his advancing years (he is now 14) and his health problems ( which have been very similar to Cabal's). Cabal's death has inevitably therefore made me think about the awful day (hopefully still far in the future) when Jake and I will have to part company...a truly dreadful prospect. Because of my isolation over the last 16 years Jake has been inexpressibly important to me. During the last 13 years he and I have been as constantly in each others company as its possible to be. On the occasions when I have to leave him at home it feels like there is part of me physically missing, I move around anticipating the need not to trip over him as he trots along in his accustomed place by my left knee, trying to be at the centre of everything that's going on. When he isn't there I feel off balance. I talk to him about everything and anything and he cocks his head and listens patiently waiting for important words like "dinner" or "biscuit" or "walkies" and putting up with the rest if it. He has saved my sanity many times over and given me his unconditional, faithful friendship.

So today I took him to his favourite place in the world ( Wittenham Clumps) where we met up with a friend and her dog and while I lurched along on my crutch Jake ran around and played like a puppy with his mate Bramble and every other dog or person on the hill, until the pair of us ran out of energy and dragged our stiffening hind legs back home. The afternoon has passed with us both as motionless as possible on the sofa, him curled up behind my knees, muddy legs entwined, an audiobook playing drowsily in the background and the heater warming our old bones. Paradise.