Feet like Mummys

One cute moment. Him demanding a cushion to put his feet up like Mama. I don’t feel I was a great Mother this afternoon. He didn’t nap & I tried to make allowances for him but struggled. He keeps throwing things, including his dinner (I just caught it) & I felt that I was losing my shit. I tell him ‘please don’t wave your spoon, you’ll spill your yoghurt’ & he does it again. I tell him ‘if you do that again Bertie, I’ll need to take your spoon and you won’t be able to have your yoghurt’. He does it again. Yoghurt goes. Meltdown. This sounds trivial..but it’s one out of a 100 things that pressed my buttons today. Then I cried & he took his step to the kitchen and bought me back a stamp sized piece of tissue & my heart melts. And 10 mins later I want to throw him. I feel like a mad woman! He went to sleep early in about 10 minutes. As is often the case when he falls quickly - about an hour in he woke up just distraught. As soon as I pick him up & comfort him he calms. I tucked him back in with more warm milk & feel bad cos he’s so little and I wish I didn’t get angry. Earlier I could see he desperately trying to connect with me & do the things that usually make me laugh, so on some level he knows this afternoon went tits up. Sigh. I love him so much but it’s so hard