Eulogy

.............for my darling CCN

Catherine’s Eulogy

I’m sure there are many people here today who are reeling from the news that our beautiful Catherine has passed away.  It has been a shock for many people including myself.

As many of you are aware, for the past 8 years Catherine had fought an incredibly courageous battle with Breast Cancer, a debilitating heart condition and finally Parkinsons Disease and Lewy Body Dementia.  It had been a revolving door of medical appointments and many visits to hospital and I’m sure they really took their toll.  Through all of those draining, exhausting days of unwellness I can say hand on heart that she never ever complained.

Her frustration was always well concealed as Catherine continued to be a loving, caring and wise partner.  
We had been working for 10 months to set Wombat Hollow up so that Catherine would never have to go to hospital again.  I truly believed that the changes would be able to support her condition for many years.  Sadly it seems that the Parkinsons and Lewy Body were on a collision course though and when they collided the results were catastrophic.  

I really want to thank the people who have cared for Catherine, particularly over the past 12 months. Dr’s Chris Coghill and Catherine Harman and the wonderful Carer’s from Australian Unity, Suzanne George, her little dog Mimi and Debbie Purcell, Jasmine and Claire who came regularly over that time and the other Carer’s who visited.  Whenever the girls walked in Catherine would always greet them with her famous smile, she loved them all and so do I.  I would also like to thank Kathy Sweeny and her team from Community Health at Lawson.  Kathy was the main driver in helping us to make Wombat hollow safe for Catherine. In the last weeks, we were supported by an incredibly professional and compassionate Palliative Care Team and when we were going through the last days of Catherine’s journey an army of angels appeared - our wonderful loving friends who rallied to the call and I will never ever forget the incredible way in which so many of you lovingly, generously and tenderly gave care to Catherine.

And now I’d like to tell you about my girl

I first met Catherine in 2002 when it would be fair to say that we were both very vulnerable.  I soon realised that I had met an incredibly intriguing and highly intelligent individual who knew a LOT more than me and a woman who was a born teacher, it had been her passion in life.
I remember thinking, how can anyone be that clever.  I remember playing a round of golf with one of her colleagues who wanted me to know that I was in fact in a relationship with a woman who was considered the Barbra Streisand of the corporate training world, she was a Diva!!

What I didn’t realise at the time was that when entering into a relationship with her I was actually enrolling in a University Course that would last for 17 wonderful years.

For the first few months of our friendship I think we were both weighing each other up.   I was wondering if I wanted to enrol for this course and Catherine, do I want to accept this student into my classroom.

Catherine’s way of making a decision I believe was to put me through a test.
I had just returned from a trip to my home town of Perth and Catherine offered to come out to Wombat Hollow the next day and bring lunch.  Don’t worry, she said, I’ll make it easy for you as you will have just arrived home.  Catherine turned up with a huge picnic basket full of wonderful food including a roast chicken which she proudly announced she had received instructions on how to cook from her Mum Nettie in Bundaberg.  Apparently the reason Nettie’s chickens were legendary was the amazing seasoning.  When Catherine looked me straight in the eye and said what do you think of the chicken I knew I was faced with a dilemma.  In a split second I thought to myself - “If I’m ever going to have any credibility with the beautiful woman sitting across the picnic table I’m going to have to tell the truth”.  Well, actually Catherine, to be honest, I’m finding it a bit bland.  My heart stopped beating as Catherine looked desperately disappointed.  It turned out that in her effort to impress me her mum informed her that she had left out the key ingredients.  

On reflection I realised that Catherine had put me to a subtle test because I soon learnt that one of her most important values in life was was TRUTH AND HONESTY.  Happily for me I was able to enjoy many of those roast chickens, this time lovingly cooked by Nettie herself.

By October that year I had been fully enrolled into the Catherine Cooper-Norwood University and learnt one of her lessons the hard way.  We were going to be driving up to Bundaberg to visit her parents and family and I said to Catherine, “Can you teach me a Scottish phrase that I can practise and when we get to Bundaberg I’ll find the opportunity to really impress your Mum and Dad. Catherine warned me in no uncertain terms that you should never ever try to do an impression of a Scottish accent, that I was treading on very dangerous ground.  However, I insisted and for days I practised the phrase.  The perfect opportunity came when we had driven her Mum and Dad out to Elliott Heads and Doug had shouted us all ice creams.  I sidled up to the car and said to her Dad as he looked out to sea with a wistful look in his eye.  Aye Doug, “It’s a braw brich moonlich nich tonich”.  Without blinking an eye or turning his head he retorted - “Aye, you could always tell the imposters”.


From that point on I was able to share in the deep love that Catherine had for her family.  Her Mum and Dad, Nettie and Doug, her “Big” sister Ann and her brothers Billy and Jimmy and their families.   Many of our happiest days together were spent in the outdoor classroom which was the  patio at the rear of  Nettie and Doug’s home in Bundy.  We were always very excited when after a long drive from the Mountains we could call and say, we’re almost there you had better put the kettle on.

The one subject that my darling girl failed miserably in, was teaching me to dance.  I have never forgotten the first time we went to the Queens Ball.  Now you need to know that Catherine was a brilliant dancer.  We had been on the dance floor about 10 minutes and Catherine had been trying desperately to get me in sync.  Eventually she kindly said, look darling why don’t you just stand there and I’ll dance around you.  That was a subject I definitely failed!!

Another major challenge Catherine faced, and I’m sure many of you who know me will appreciate this was that was that she’d never had a pupil who had talked so much in class.  Only a couple of weeks ago I smiled when I heard her say so kindly to one of our friends.  “We all know Barb loves a chat”.

This is my opportunity to set the record straight.  Catherine was never one to seek the limelight instead and in particular during our years in Rotary she would push me out the front and seemed quite happy to sit in the background yet believe me, my darling was always in the “Drivers Seat” so to speak.  It was easy for Catherine to say to me, if you started practising  squash again you could play in the World Masters, or if you started training I think you could climb the 1800 steps of the Eureka Tower.  It wasn’t her hamstrings that were going to take 12 months to recover.  However if you were to ask her “For What Purpose” would you ask Barb to do this, she would say.  We could use Barb to raise money for Interplast, an organisation Catherine was passionate about.  
She loved the fact that this wonderful Organisation could change the lives of people who would otherwise have no hope of ever receiving life changing plastic surgery.  I know she would be overjoyed if through her passing their were children in the world who were able to in fact have a new start in life.  What a wonderful legacy that would be.

We originally made our commitment to each other in 2003 when we realised that we were meant to be together.  It was 16 years later on the 11th of February 2018 at our home Wombat Hollow and witnessed by 13 of our close friends and my brother Big Al we took our vows again and this time in the knowledge that it would be legally recognised in this country.  A moment that we honestly never thought would come in our lifetime.  It was a very joyful day.  We were proud to be one of the first gay marriages in the Blue Mountains.

Catherine has given me many wonderful gifts in my lifetime but non more precious than a wonderful step son Sid, his wife Acko and two beautiful granddaughters Amelie and Ellisa.  I can tell already that the girls have Catherine’s DNA flowing through their veins.  The cheeky fun loving side of Catherine came out in Amelie a couple of years ago when we were in Melbourne and Catherine had been reading Amelie a book.  Amelie decided it was her turn to choose the book and mischievously chose her favourite book, there was only one problem for Catherine, it was written in Japanese.  Catherine thought that was hilarious.  The kind gentle and compassionate side of Catherine was very evident when recently in August  Sid came up to visit Catherine for her birthday.  He came bearing a gift from Ellisa.  It was her favourite and most precious doll - a Mermaid.  She knew that G1 wasn’t well and wanted her to have it.  Catherine named her mermaid Merilyn and Merilyn was never far from Catherine after that.

You may have noticed the small whiteboard sitting off to the side during the service.  The word that is written on the Board for those of you who cannot see is Forgiveness.
 When Catherine was really struggling at the end of her journey I sensed she was desperately trying to tell me something.  I had to lean very close to her to hear what she was saying and after several attempts she very clearly uttered the word FORGIVENESS.  I was astonished and on reflection truly believe that Catherine was charging me with the responsibility of delivering her final teaching.  The last time she would write on her beloved whiteboard.  No explanation just one word, and such a powerful one from one of the most gentle people you could ever meet.  I have delivered Catherine’s message and now I leave it with you to reflect on what that word may mean to you.

I can’t even start to imagine life without my darling munchkin but I know as I do make my way in the world without her physically by my side I will be striving to emulate the most inspiring woman I have ever met.  Someone asked me recently whether Catherine had a religion and I thought for a moment and realised that Catherine was in a way a religion in her own right.  A religion of courage, kindness, love, compassion, truthfulness, forgiveness and great wisdom.

When Catherine and I first started our journey I said to her that it was like we had just hopped on a train and we were going on a trip together.  There would be lots of stops along the way, and we would see where the train took us.  I realised the other night that it was very clear that our train journey as we knew it on earth was coming to an end but that it had been a train journey like no other and how blessed I have been to have shared it with such a wonderful human being.

God Bless you my darling

I felt I wanted to share my Eulogy with all of my blip buddies who have been by our side over the past few difficult months. Your love and support has been a great comfort, more than you will ever know. 


This beautiful photo of CCN was taken by our blip buddy trisharooni on the 4th of May 2017.  It was taken out at Hargraves Lookout, just a little way from Wombat Hollow.  The image was used on the Order of Service for Catherine's Funeral.