Fat cat
Every time I get up fat cat steals my seat.
Go on then, see if you can hold down a job, pay the bills, plan everyone's social life, remember deadlines, check term dates and bloody well find the time to blip. And whilst you're at it can you make some bunting, clear out the loft, go and buy swimming kit for an 11 year old at short notice, mend the punctures, hoover out the disgusting car and book some dentist and opticians appointments.
Go on, see if you can be a real fat cat.
I'm watching.
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