Doodles...

A nothing-to-show-for-it-day, today.  

One of those days where no matter what you do, progress seems slow and tasks seem pointless.  In the end I resorted to picking up my paintbrush and doing some doodling.  

There is something soothing about dropping paint on a blank piece of paper and just seeing what happens.  No planning, no thinking, no feeling of making a mistake.  Literally just going with the flow.  

It's just what I needed today as I have been struggling a bit since Friday when I received the terrible news that one of the young lads Alan went to nursery with had passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.  

I didn't write about it here in my journal and I'm not sure why.  I think maybe it felt too shocking, too sad, too close to home.  

But then this afternoon I got another awful message to say a second young lad Alan went to nursery with, had also passed away (the deaths are unconnected) and there was no way I could upload my blip and not mention their passing.

When I think of those boys all I can see is their happy smiling faces.  Their determination to overcome the difficulties life had given them, their don't mess with me attitudes, and their absolute love for their families.  All of which was reciprocated with bells on.  

As parents of children with disabilities we had a unique bond, and spent those early years crying together, laughing together and more than anything, supporting each other to make sure our boys had the best possible start in life and gained the skills to ensure they lived the best possible lives.  

We fought so many battles together - us against the Education Depts, Social Work Depts, Housing Depts, NHS wheelchair services etc etc etc, all to make sure our boys got what they were entitled to, which in many cases was access to services that everyone else took for granted.   Parents became Warriers.

And in the dark days that C and G's families now find themselves in, I hope they will get comfort from the fact they did what they had to do, and then some, in order to ensure their boys reached their fullest potential and had happy and fulfilled lives.

No matter how old your babies are, please give them an extra cuddle first chance you get.