Tuna Tuna Tuna

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

I was explaining to the Princess on our Monday phone call, how weird the Kiwis are about tuna. Back in the UK, you get THREE varieties of tuna in cans:

- In brine
- In spring water
- In oil

But here, they have taken the concept of canned tuna and gone buh-NONKERS with it. If you zoom in you will see tuna with dill and lemon, tuna with cracked pepper, tuna with mayo and sweetcorn, tuna with sweet chili...

Honestly, all I'm after is me tuna in spring water. It takes ages.

So that is Kiwi cultural difference one. The second thing I find notable about working here in Wellington is The Funny Lift Lady.

Me and Lemon have encountered her a few times now. She's an older lady, with a very sarcastic manner. Lemon and I were riding up in the lift with her (we are on the 6th floor) when the lift stopped at the first floor. The Funny Lift Lady was accompanied by a friend, who attempted to leave:

"NO," said TFLL, "This is NOT your floor. This is the first floor. You do not work here. You know that."

Her friend, chastened, went back to her corner. But it did not end there. Every time the lift stopped, TFFL would turn to her again:

"This is the second floor. It is only one floor up from the last floor. Stay where you are."

"This is the third floor. You can tell because the number three has three points on it. You see?"

We reached the fourth floor:

"This is the fourth floor. This is where you work. Please try to remember for next time. You may leave."

"Thank goodness you're here," I told TFFL. "Goodness knows where we'd end up otherwise."

"Don't worry," replied TFFL. "I'm keeping my eye on you too."

"We're on the sixth floor," explained Lemon. "It's the curly one that looks like a nose."

So that was that. But Lemon told me that she'd subsequently encountered TFFL again this morning. 

"Now then," said TFFL. "I do hope you're not going to make me stop at every floor again. I have things to do."

I was disappointed. "I want to have another trip with Funny Lift Lady!" I protested. 

Fortunately, at lunchtime we saw her again! Lemon and I raised our eyebrows at each other, but she was sadly quiet until the second floor. The lift stopped, but no-one got out, and no-one came in.

"Must be ghosts," said TFFL. "This building is built on a graveyard. Just thought I'd throw that out there."

I suppose TFFL is not really a Kiwi thing. Just a bonkers person thing. Although I suppose one could blame it on a surfeit of tuna.

S.