Reality TV Bingo

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

Caro reminded me this morning that we've been watching reality shows together for YEARS. I think it was in 2005 that I discovered downloading in a big way and this opened the floodgates to all the shows that Caro loves which involve secret immunity idols, team challenges, room reveals and elimination ceremonies.

Back then, it would take me ALL WEEK to download a couple of shows and we would watch them on a tiny screen on the desktop at the weekend. 

For that reason, it's still kind of our weekend thing, although that is just me really. I'm quite sure Caro would gobble up all these shows during the week if I would let her. But I'm mean like that. 

Most of the reality shows we watch are Australian, because the Aussies are an entertaining* bunch. Here are the Aussie phrases which cause me and Caro to shout back at the telly, because good reality telly is interactive, like Rocky Horror:

"How good is THIS???" - Sometimes shortened to just, "How good???"
"Why wouldn't ya???" - To illustrate the obvious choice. 
"Holy dooley!!" - We think they are just saying this to be PG on the telly and mean, "holy sh*t" really.
"How're ya travelling?" - How are you doing?
"We're at the pointy end of the game now" - We are nearing the conclusion of this competition.

Then there are the general reality tv cliches you get from all countries:

"I'm not here to make friends" - I am about to screw over my friends
"I've got your back" - I am about to screw you over, personally
"I want to play this game honestly" - Until it comes time to screw you over
"I feel like I'm in complete control of the game right now" - I'm about to get completely effed over by all the other contestants and the producers are having a cruel laugh at my expense.

Caro and me are now experts at this sort of thing. We can usually tell who is about to get voted out based purely on how a show is edited. "Oooh, they've spliced in a shot of a snake, it's all over for him." 

This is what comes of 14 years of piracy. I expect one day I will be able to lower the Jolly Roger because all these worldwide shows will be available legally. But not quite yet. And never at any time except the weekend.

S.

* Sweary.