Out with the old old, in with the new old

The aul Huawei P9 has not been well of late. Possibly a duct tape repair too far, or a drop onto the tiles too many. 
It's served its purpose well, especially after I left the Mistake Factory and it stopped relaying work-related email everywhere I went. 
It was time for something drastic to be done. Time for a new phone. Or rather a new-to-me phone.
Got this rather well-kept P9 on eBay for £64. The poor bastard who bid £63 on it ten seconds from the end of the auction must have been mightily pissed off when I placed the winning bid with five quickly elapsing seconds to go. 
It's a dog eat dog world out there. 
I got an adrenaline rush and the phone for a lot less than expected. 

Now the Chinese can monitor my every move. Just behind Microsoft who watch all I do, and Google who listen to all I say. 

All of them are gathering a treasure trove of information. Mostly on scatological humour and novel ways of cooking andouillette.