My Second Worse Kayak Ride

I laid in bed last night...thinking about an offer from a guy at my church. He was going to pick up a teen from church, and was going to canoe down our local river. He wanted me to go with him in my kayak. I asked my wife Lisa what I should do. "You're nuts" was all I got.

From the warmth and comfort of my bed...I listed the pros and cons.

Cons: 1. It's cold outside. 21F this morning.
2. With an open style kayak...it's hard not to splash water into it.
3. What to do if you tip it over.
4. With all the docks out of the water...it's hard to get in and out of the boat.

Pros: 1. You get up! You're doing something!
2. A little exercise to start off the new year.
3. No excuse not to.

I was waiting for them in the parking lot at 11 a.m. I sent Lisa a picture text of my truck and the kayak. She sent a text back..."You're crazy!" After the struggle to get in...we were off and running.

The first obstacle came 5 minutes later. A good-sized log across the river..6-7 inches in diameter. No problem. My friend Doug had brought a hand-saw. The young man Aaron started sawing way. 15 minutes passed. Aaron tired...Doug took over.

Doug asked me if I could lift up on the log. I lifted up, and leaned to the left. Too far. I didn't tip, but gallon after gallon of the frigid water rushed into my kayak. Soon...the temperature of my butt matched the temperature of the water. Another 15 minutes passed until we gave up trying to saw the log. We would attempt to go right over the top of it.

The canoers shimmied and shook themselves over...and were gone downstream. I got hung up on the log, and had to retreat. With a full head of steam, and the water sloshing back and forth...I made it, too.

I saw a glimpse of the canoe ahead. "Hey...that's great...they waited for me." I then noticed they were both standing...thigh deep...in the water. Oops. They had hit a rock, and gone over. Canoe trip over. Game, set, and match...had gone to Old Man River.

The only way for me to get out was to straddle my kayak, and step into the almost frozen river. Add my legs, from the toes to the knees, to my already drenched rear end. We called for a ride to get back to our vehicles, and left...defeated.

That's Doug and Aaron photo shopped on the branch. The branch was hanging from the log. The little circles are ice. Everybody is OK. The hot bath did wonders, and I'm feeling pretty warm as I type this.

I can hardly wait for Lisa to get home. The I-TOLD-YOU-SO'S will rush in just like the frigid water. HA!