Mind In The Gutter

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

These scooters are everywhere now. Uber have launched this range, and there's another company who have snazzy pink ones called "Flamingo".

I have so far resisted the urge to try them. I can just see me at the bottom of Aurora Terrace, trying to go up with the engine screaming at me to get off.

So today I went to the coffee caravan with Lemon. Our old coffee guy was back. He's been transferred to another place, but he was filling in today for a sick colleague.

He asked me if I wanted my usual Flat White, but before I could filter the words coming out of my own mouth, I found myself saying, "No, I've decided that I'm a Long Black man". 

Lemon looked at me. I looked back at her. "THAT didn't come out right," I said. 

"You are a bad BAD man," said Coffee Guy.

This started Lemon off on the subject of innuendo. Apparently her partner took her sons to the island of Niue (where he is from) a couple of years back.

The three of them greeted her at the airport, waving happily at her two weeks later. 

"Can we do something about those T-shirts you bought them???" she asked.

The boys (and their father) were wearing matching t-shirts. They read, "BEST ROOT IN THE PACIFIC" across the front.

"But it's true," protested Partner. "Niue grows the best taro* root," he insisted.

Lemon did not see the funny side. All three were forced to wear jackets all the way home.

As for me, I might have to become a Flat White man again. The alternative is bound to disappoint.

S.

* A starchy vegetable. I have not tried it yet, but it is beloved by PI's.