'HEAVEN: It's Real And It Can Be Yours!'

Strolling along the seafront on a bright sunny day
I was handed a leaflet by a bloke with a placard.
‘I’ll read it later,’ I said, intending to throw it away.
‘Have a nice day,’ he said. ‘So, clearly not a bastard,’

I thought. I popped the leaflet into my
shopping bag and carried on to the Co-op,
bought my stuff and headed home under the blue sky,
hoping to avoid catching his eye (he hadn’t given up

but wasn’t getting many takers). Back at the flat
I put my few items away and spotted the leaflet
at the bottom of the bag. I should have chucked it.
If I’d done that I wouldn’t be writing this. I bet

I’d be eating lunch and perhaps treating myself
to a glass of Merlot or Rioja. Instead I find a need
to respond to this offensive misguided crap. Hell
(I read) is not a myth. It’s a place where you weep

and wail and gnash your teeth. God ain’t messing. He’ll
send you there if you don’t believe, if you’re a homosexual,
a male prostitute, a coward, a liar, a drunkard, vile…
Well, all this sounds a bit unforgiving and cruel (and vile)

and the list goes on: murderers, slanderers, those who
didn’t forgive those who sinned against them!, those
who didn’t produce fruit (fruit of their loins I suppose
that means) Prime Ministers (that one’s not true,

I made it up because I’ve had enough of all of this nonsense.
Although…).

Note: Thanks to  amandoAlentejo  for letting me know that fruit isn't referring to having children but to good things (not that children are bad) like joy and peace. So fair enough on that one. I may try and rewrite the poem and conceal my ignorance but it's far too hot where I am at the moment!.



God Is In The House