One-sided conversations

"Christ Al - you look as rough as! What were you up to last night, eh?"

"Whoa! Hair of the dog later on, feller? Your eyes are like pissholes."

"You've reached the surgery of Doctors Simpson, Clarke and Brewster. There's no-one available to take your call at the moment. Please try again later, or hold for an operator..."

Joking apart

"Alan, have you got that report on...come on, mate - wake up, you're in a dream."

"If you've got a minute, Al - Steve would like a word in the meeting room."

"Ah yes, Mr Mackie. Doctor Clarke's not here at the moment, but he'd left a note to say you might call about a referral. I can put you through to the locum who'll sort everything out."

Getting to the heart of the matter

"Don't bother Alan. I'll get it myself, eh?"

"Thing is, Al - everyone's got every sympathy with the fact you've had problems. But when you come in looking like shit, stinking of beer, what are people supposed to think?"

"Ah yes, Mr Mackie. Thank you for calling. The doctor's been in touch with the hospital, and they can see you on the 14th of next month. Yes, that's right - next month. Sorry, there's quite a big waiting list, I'm afraid. No, you're unlikely to get anything sooner unless there's a cancellation."

In conclusion

"Shit. Sorry. I forgot - didn't mean to pile too much on you. No, don't worry about it."

"Just think about how things look, eh? Try to not come in looking like you've been on the pish all night."

"Mr Mackie? Would an appointment on Thursday suit you? 10.30?"

I have to be honest. I wasn't fully paying attention to everything that was said to me today.



Story begins here.