Monday

Ooops I didn't realise it was my blipday yesterday. Thank you all for your lovely comments. This is a very special place. We all use it for different reasons, and my journal has turned into my mental health journey. 

So today I went back up to the Royal Edinburgh for my appointment. In my head I was going there to be told that they emailed the community psych and there was nothing else they could do. 
How wrong was I!

I was in tears before I even got taken. I saw the same nurse than I did on Fri night which was good. She asked how the weekend was, did I self harm, how were the suicidal thoughts, am I eating etc. 
Then she dropped the bombshell. She was recommending that I see the Intensive Home Treatment Team. I saw them 5 yrs ago and they were great but that wasn't in my head for this time round. Was I that bad again?
So tomorrow a psychiatrist and a nurse will come to me and have a chat, go more in depth than Fri night chat. 
Talk about meds, therapy, occupational therapists etc

My head is everywhere, it kind of seems surreal that this happening again. 

Anyway there are lots of wild flowers round the grounds, and I spotted a purple poppy; my favourite colour.