Carnival ??

Pat and I decided to go down to the Bridgewater Canal to catch the last day of the carnival. Online it said that boats would be leaving Patricroft and heading down to Monton at 2pm. Stuart dropped us off in Monton and we walked along the canal to Barton Swing Bridge. We sat in the sunshine and waited....and waited.

We were opposite a boatyard where a man was in drag, supposedly as Dolly Parton. He stood in front of a child’s sandpit shaped like a shell and was flagged by angel type cherubs. I think he was trying to recreate Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, but what Dolly has to do with it I’m not quite sure. Anyway, on our side of the canal a man in an orange boiler suit decorated with tinsel suddenly announced they were starting so ‘Dolly’ began to mouth to some classical music. His...sorry her... music wasn’t very loud so we weren’t too sure what it was. Then Dolly and boiler suit man alternated lines to the song Islands in the Stream. A group of about twenty people arrived from across the road...who knows where from...and boiler suit man cut a red ribbon across the tow path, they all cheered and began to walk towards Monton......still no sign of any boats.

We followed and sadly missed what a group of ladies dressed as flapper girls were doing on the opposite side near Patricroft Bridge. It can’t have been anything too energetic as some looked to be original flapper girls! Still no sign of any boats.

We listened to the band play a very slow version of That’s what makes you beautiful’ and then we eventually got back to the lighthouse in Monton. A crowd had gathered and a woman I recognised from the book club, Elaine, was dressed as some sort of sun god and started uttering a very strange monologue. A choir then sang Take That’s ‘Never Forget’ and they thanked us for watching the finale. Well, the first finale. Apparently, there were to be more to follow and we needed to leave the tow path ready for the next group. AND still there were no boats!

It was totally bizarre. I have no idea what they were trying to do, but the sun was shining and we stifled our laughs at what was occurring and we clocked up many steps.

Shame there were no boats though.