James and I.

James looking Chavvy, me looking chavvy. I'm mortal. I miss my ex and it's her birthday today which isn't fun. But i'm unbelievably glad that she's happy.

I am becoming someone new it'd seem, but that's fine I guess, just not used to it. I kinda feel like I could throw everything away and let go, but it's glued to me and I can't get rid of the sadness. Despite the fact i'm pretty happy at the minute.

I listen to rave hardstyle music and just wear tracksuit bottoms and smoke spliffs and drink vodkas. I don''t really care anyway, i'll be who I be, if I die, I die. I need her, well I think I do even though I don't need her at all. I am at loss without her, but then again I am full to the brim with pure lust for life, but it only comes sometimes, and it's not enough to keep me going.

Happy birthday to the girl that stole my heart for months then grinded it and let it fall.

I might just kill myself.

~

You could be happy, and I, won't, know.
But you weren't happy the day I let you go.
And all the things that I wish you, had not said,
are played on loops till it's madness, in my, head.
Is it too late to remind you, how we were.
and not our last days of silence, screaming blur.
Most of what i remember, makes me sure.
I should have stopped you from walking out the door.
You could be happy, I hope you are.
You made me happier than I've been by far,
but somehow everything I own, smells of you.
And for the tiniest moment, it's all not true.
Do the things that you always, wanted to.
Without me there, to hold you back, don't think
Just do.
More than anything I want to see you, girl.
Take a glorious bite out of our old world.