Al Rajul Al Ankaboot*

Talkyface

"Right, I need to check my email so what I'll do is I'll click on my email to open it up, great that's my email open and look, I have four new messages and if I click on them I'll see what they sent, oh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, David, David, David....DAVID! look, I've just opened an email and it has a really funny joke on it, look, look at the funny joke and tell me if you think it's funny too, also I've got a great worksheet for you to use in your class because what it does is that it tests the students' schemata and it also helps them produce the language and encourage peer correction and actually what I've done is printed it off and thought that you could use..."

No thanks.

"... this brilliant worksheet that is done using Microsoft Word and is actually really clever because what it does it test the students' ability to remember and recall the key grammar and that reminds me that I had to do the quiz this week and if you could look over it that would be just great and if you see any mistakes..."

There's a mistake.

"...if you could just correct the mistake and give it back to me then I'll change it and oh what's that excel thing you're doing on your PC? And what's that application thing you're looking at on your PC? An application for itools in the classroom? I asked a long time ago for an interactive CD because you know what, the learners can just benefit so much from proper interaction and other specialist realia and software and..."

I'm busy.

"....oh look at the time I have to go because I have to pick up my daughter who has an ipod and you know I just can't work out how to use the ipod but I see you have one that you listen to..."

Shut up.

"...and you just must show me how to do everything on it that can be done because I don't know how to and either does my daughter and I also want to play video on my computer but the application I need isn't on it and so can you tell me what I need because I have planned the most wonderful lesson for which I need the video..."

Shut up Shut up Shut up.

"...which maybe Ibrahim can install because we really should give the learners an experience of the medium of video in the classroom but we can't because we can't install things on our computers and wouldn't it just be so great if oh look! Here's Ibrahim! Hello Ibrahim, could you please..."

Thank fuck.





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* Arabic for 'Spider-Man', as taught to me by Sheikha whose desk I escaped to (when Ibrahim arrived) to give a quick 'photography lesson' (with talkyface conveniently situated in the background) when she suggested Spider-Man might like to wear her mobile pendant.