Sicknote

While the idiots in the Idiot Party are busy throwing custard pies at one another in their battle to become Supreme Idiot, I find myself incapable of looking the other way. It's like watching a car crash in slo-mo. I find that I must check the news each day just after 6pm to discover which is the latest of the Humpty-Dumpties to have fallen from the wall.

Separately, I have had a dilemma of my own to contend with; should I or should I not jump through the necessary hoops required to reclaim my Glastonbury deposit from WaterAid? Well, I could jump through the hoops and make my mind up later. So I booked an appointment with my GP and had to wait a full fortnight before I could be slotted in.

During that time my back improved greatly but I was pleased that I had decided to book the appointment because after I had, I began to experience symptoms of arthritis. This has also improved thank goodness!

GP was great! First I mentioned the arthritis. He inspected the bony lump on my shoulder and informed me that this was not the onset, it is established. Next I mentioned the back injury which had preceded it. Well that was a perfect explanation! He said that the arthritis had been triggered by me having to support my weight on my arms to preserve my back. Just as I had thought. Finally I mentioned Glastonbury Festival, WaterAid and their requirement for a sicknote in order to have my deposit refunded. He hit the roof! He was furious that a charity would be so uncharitable to those who had volunteered to work for them for nothing. Yes of course he would give me a sicknote!

I was still faced with the dilemma of whether or not I would actually make use of it. But then yesterday I spotted a coffee table at The British Heart Foundation which would suit my flat perfectly and which had been reduced to £30. Had to have it! I knew that delivery would add another £20 and that would be exactly the sum I was claiming back from WaterAid. 

So no, I am not extracting money from a charity, I am simply diverting it to a different one. And instead of being rewarded with a stint at Glastonbury Festival, I shall be rewarded with a piece of furniture which will make lying down and reading a book on my shorty sofa so much more comfortable next time I have no choice but to lie down and read.

Cash paid, delivery scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. The refund will take longer.