Losing Santa

Firstly, a very Merry Christmas to you all. xx


Christmas Eve lunch with the oldies yesterday. Rather challenging and sobering at the same time.

They're in their 70s and 80s, with a host of medical conditions and ailments between them.

Sad to see, and hear of, bodies slowly breaking down and such loved ones losing their faculties year by year, or even month by month in some cases.

B in particular. He has always had a pin-sharp mind, a quick wit, and a lovely warm character. It seems doubly cruel, then, that he has developed Alzheimer's in the past year.

His decline has been so fast, it's scary. B was always the life and soul of any gatherings. An excellent conversationalist who always filled any lulls with a little anecdote, an observation or a some silly nonsense.

Today, a shock to see lucid moments interspersed with quiet confusion or complete reversion to old memories. He is fading before my eyes. Even his (formerly) bright blue, twinkly eyes have faded in colour and brightness; more a powdery grey-blue, with shadows of sadness and bewilderment behind them.

All the more reason to treasure him and make the most of the time we spend together. I'm guilty for letting life get in the way too much and, as a result, I never visit as often as I would like. Must rectify that.

A wake-up call for me. With flashing neon signs and ringing bells.