The Christmas Pirate

What else could it be but this. Unedited, a bit too long (perhaps) and needing a little polishing but it's a "rhyme what I wrote" :)

Merry Christmas to you and your families.

It had been a busy time
leading up to Christmas eve
Father Christmas said to elves
I think it's time to leave
For children all around the world
Wait for me to call
I've many presents inside my sack
There's even a cannon ball!
"A cannon ball?!" Said the elves
"we don't remember making that!"
"That's right" said father Christmas
"But it's for Pirate Captain Bauble Hat!"

"Any pirates who've been good will end up on the list
And Captain Bauble hat and his crew
Just simply can't be missed!"
"So my Elves please pack my sleigh
For I must soon fly out of sight
there's roofs and pirate waters
to land upon tonight!"

With lightning speed and happy songs
The elves packed really fast
For them the best bit of the year
Had come along at last
They lined up all the reindeer
It was a really lovely sight
"Are we ready?" said father Christmas
"Aye, Aye!" said the elves with much delight

The stable doors were opened
blizzard winds came rushing in
Rudolph turned to look at father Christmas
and he saw the old chap grin.
He called the other reindeer
as he pulled upon the reins
They moved their feet so fast
they suddenly took off like a plane
"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!"
They heard the old chap roar
Up through clouds they pulled the sleigh
how wonderful they did soar

The clouds were thick this Christmas Eve
but Rudolph was sure he knew the way
1st left, then straight, then left again
to get to Pirates Bay
But Father Christmas looked around and said
"this doesn't look right at all.
we best fly below the clouds
to deliver this cannon ball"

And so the reindeer took a dive
just below the clouds
"That's better" said Father Christmas
"I can see quite clearly now"
They flew over the Arctic Ocean
and past the USA
"Not long until we get there"
they heard Father Christmas say

But little did they know
that they were being looked upon
By the dastardly Captain Scallywag
of the bad ship Smelly Pong
He spied them through his spyglass
and said to his crew quite loud
"Sleigh ahoy me hearties
we'll shoot it out of the clouds!"

Bang! went Scallywag's canon
and up high flew his cannon ball
It hit the sleigh directly
and Father Christmas' sleigh began to fall
The reindeer were very frightened
as the sleigh dropped really fast
But Father Christmas just smiled and pressed a button
as this had happened in the past
'Press in case of emergency'
the sign above the button read
"Hold on tight my reindeer
as we've a watery landing ahead!"

Then suddenly something happened
the sleigh began to change
First the front and then the back
it was really rather strange
The back stretched out to make the bow
the front became the stern
A mast grew upwards from the floor
still the old chap showed no concern

Out from the mast came a christmas tree sail
And a crows nest high on top
The reindeer just looked in wonder
as baubles appeared.........plop, plop, plop, plop!
A galley appeared for the presents
which Father Christmas kept inside his sack
Then a row of tinsel canons appeared
in case they were attacked

The next thing that the reindeer knew
they were stood upon the ship
With Father Christmas at the wheel
this was quite the special trip
The jolly christmas roger flag raised up
twinkling lights saw the change completed
Father Christmas knew for sure
he would not be defeated.

With a great big splash
and an enormous wave
Father Christmas' ship landed on the sea
He was thirsty after all that work
So he drank a lovely cup of tea.
As he drank the final drop of tea
He put his cup back down
As something in the distance
made father Christmas frown

Much to his surprise
In the distance he could see
Scallywag's ship approaching
And they weren't coming round for tea.
Scallywag wanted those presents
Meant for bauble hat, girls and boys
He wanted a cannon ball to play with
and all those lovely toys

Scallywags ship came closer still
And he said from not far away
"I'll have those presents off you"
For me to open on Christmas Day"
"No you won't!" said Father Christmas
"you haven't been good all year"
If your good for twelve whole months
Then I'll visit you with my reindeer"

Scallywag's cannon fired again
But this time the ball nearly flew long
It caught the tinsel on the ship
Flew back, hitting the Smelly Pong
The Smelly Pong tilted up
And started sinking into the sea
"I'll get you Father Christmas!
Just you wait and see!"

But suddenly the Smelly Pong rose up
And bobbed upon a wave
Father Christmas is very nice you see
And he knew Scallywag he had to save
Poor Scallywag and his naughty crew
Sat soaked upon their deck
"My magic has saved your pirate ship
From becoming a deep sea wreck!"

"I'll leave you now but remember this
Only the good get toys
That's good mums and dads, nans and gramps
And of course good girls and boys!"

The wind picked up and caught the sail
In the distance Father Christmas could spy
Captain Bauble Hat's Pirate ship
The good ship Brandy and Mince Pie
The wind moved his ship towards it
They quickly anchored alongside
He grabbed his sack and jumped up quick
The reindeer looked and smiled with pride

"No need to fit down a chimney here
There's just this lovely door"
But as the old chap opened it
It creaked then creaked some more!
"Is that you dear Father Christmas?"
Said the half asleep Captain Bauble Hat
"It is dear boy now back to sleep
That's quite enough of that"

Father Christmas moved quite slowly
towards the Christmas tree
Not wishing to awake the crew
From their deep sleep he could see
He placed the cannon ball softly down
And some other presents too
Soon his trip would finish here
As there was other work to do.

He crept back out onto the deck
Bauble Hat watched with delight
Father Christmas turned and said to him
"I've had lots of fun tonight!"
He climbed aboard the ship once more
And nodded to his reindeer team
The changes that took place before
Would once again be seen

With a twinkliest bit of magic
The ship was sleigh just like before
The reindeer all lined up in pairs
Laughs and smiles galore
As the sleigh quickly took off again
Father Christmas said from up afar
"Merry Christmas to you, all my friends
Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho...........Argh!"

The end.........until next year ;)

The Christmas Pirate © Tim Howard