Happy Days

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

Today was a VERY relaxed day at work. And why? Because no Smock. There was some big bloody team day for all of the permanent people today. Smock wasn't happy about it. Mind you, Tanvi was even worse. Her face was a picture.

"Ohhhhh goddddddddddd!" she said earlier in the week.

Meanwhile, Lemon and I were like kids with a note from their mum. As contractors we didn't have to go. We didn't ACTUALLY skip around going "la la la" but I think it was pretty clear that this is how we felt about it.

It is a good thing I am me, or I would probably hate me for this sort of behaviour. Just like I used to hate the Jehovah's Witness kids who got out of school assembly back in the day. Remember that? They would always file out and do something mysterious, while the rest of us would have to sit and listen to Mr. Warrington wanking on about the burning bush or that time Jacob begat Elmo or some bloody thing.

I always wondered what they were up to. I imagined eating sweets and reading comics and laughing at us vanilla Christians. Stupid Jehovah's Witnesses.

I've drifted off the subject. Which was this: today me and Lemon got to arse about and chat all day because there was no Smock to interrupt us with her pointless drivel about milestones and deadlines and what-not.

I discovered that Lemon always wanted to be a teacher. This makes sense to me. She seems very good with the kids in her karate class. She was telling me about Kyla who is a six year old girl who lacks confidence.

"The thing is, she's really good," Lemon told me. "This is because for weeks now, I've been threatening her with the noodle."

Kyla would put up her hands to block, but if her block was sloppy Lemon would biff her with the noodle. Now it has got to the stage where her blocking is almost instinctual. The sensei was impressed.

"Her blocking is really good," he told Lemon. "Shame she can't do it when she's in front of the group."

"It's true," said Lemon. "She's only confident in front of me. When it's the group, it all goes to shit." Lemon decided to address the issue.

"I know it's scary," Lemon told her. "But you have to be confident. Like me. I get out there and do my display. I know it's hard to take criticism from the group but they're just trying to help."

"S'pose," said Kyla.

"I get criticised too," added Lemon. "I'm not even as good as you are."

"That IS true," agreed Kyla.

"Oh," said Lemon. Kyla warmed to the theme.

"Your blocking is really bad," continued Kyla. "Also your stance is terrible. I think you should go for a lower stance. You get tired really quickly and you really can't kick at all."

"There we go," soothed Lemon. "If I can do it, you can do it."

"You're right!" said Kyla, smiling.

"I waited for her to go out of earshot," said Lemon. "Then I added 'You hyper-critical little shit.'" 

I pointed out to Lemon that this meant she really was already teaching. She thought about it. "You're right," she said. "I've fulfilled my dream."

Happy days.

S.

p.s. These happy days are yours and mine, these happy days are yours and mine happy days. 

Is that in your head now? Let me just TICK that box.