Bit of string

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

Life can be difficult, you just have to prepare.
When asked the daft question:-"the length of a piece of string?"
Respond with the answer:-"just double its length from middle to end!" Simples.

Merry Xmas!