A Catalan Christmas

Whether you believe in him or not, Santa Claus doesn't exist in Spain; he's a northern European thing. Spanish children don't write to Santa Claus; they send their requests to the three kings. In fact, the day children receive gifts is 12th Night, the 6th of January, not Christmas Day.

Catalonia has to be a little bit different though. Instead of Santa Claus, they have ... Caga Tió. This is a log with a smily face. And the name means, not to put to fine a point on it, "Crapping log" (cagar means to crap in both Catalan and Occitan). Now, I can understand that when people were very poor, a log was a perfectly sensible choice: everyone, no matter how destitute, could get hold of one. But no-one has satisfactorily explained why, having obtained your log and painted the face on it, you cover it with a blanket and "feed" it with oranges and pieces of turrón (nougat) every day from 8 December until Christmas Eve. Having tended it so lovingly, you then beat it vigorously with a stick, while singing a little ditty, until it craps presents:
Crappy log,
crap nougat (turrón),
hazelnuts and cottage cheese,
if you don't crap well,
I'll hit you with a stick,
crap, log!

So this morning all the kids of Begur were gathered in the square to decorate their sticks, before queuing up excitedly to whack the giant Caga Tió with them. Notice the tasteful pile of plastic poo just visible to the right of the girl with the guitar. I thought it would be a massive free-for-all of stick-wielding kids, but in fact the children were admitted four at a time while a person hidden behind the little house slid the precise number of presents required under the log. Each group of children dutifully tapped their sticks and sang their little song before being rewarded with presents. It was all rather tame!

I'm not saying Catalans are obsessed with bodily functions, but the other Christmas tradition unique to Catalonia involves lovely little nativity scenes (pessebres) -- most shops have them in their windows. In each one, somewhere in the crowd of shepherds, peasants etc. is a person having a crap -- the fun is in finding him or her. These figurines are called caganers, and at caganer.com -- based locally, in Torroella de Montgri -- you can choose from a wide range of celebrities, including the entire Barcelona football team, and, with apologies to any Royalists out there, HM the Queen. Allegedly, having a caganer in your pessebre makes the soil rich and productive and brings luck for the coming year. There's more information about these delightful traditions here. And a more general description of Catalan Christmas and New Year traditions here.