Ten Lords a-Leaping

Lots of stuff at work. End of the NHS Mayan prophecy stuff. I continue to hang tough as Major Dick says.

According to our media briefing at work, every Christmas an average 1,000 people are wounded by their Christmas trees, and another 350 are hurt by fairy lights, while domestic abuse is a problem on Christmas Day and there is an increased chance of murder and suicide. Deaths in Britain peak between December 21 and January 19, with an extra 2,481 people passing away during the month long period over the last decade. Illness and death following intoxication from alcohol or drugs rises steeply, with people drinking 41% more than on an average day, and hospital emergency departments see a wave of admissions due to people indulging in too much drink and drugs.

Merry Christmas.

Saw our friend Maude tonight. Very nice Thai meal and a few laughs.

Day ten of Stella and George

Christmas 2011

The Palace of Westminster is a fairly small and intimate place once you get to find your way around. Even if you include the rather monstrous Portcullis House to which it is connected by a tunnel underneath Parliament Square, it is still intimate.

Stella loved it and she loved showing the starstruck George around "the shop floor" as she called it. Her six month contract with the cabinet office, covering someone's maternity leave, had started in November.

"Here to pick the wife up after the office party are we sir?" asked one of the armed police as he checked George in through the airline style security. "Good luck. They've been at it all afternoon".

George groaned. Stella was notoriously unreliable when drunk. However on this occasion she was merry rather collapsing.

"Come on" she said "or we'll miss the kick off".

"What?" asked George.

In a quadrangle there were ten quite senior members of the house of Lords rolling up their trousers and preparing to play a game of five a side football. In terms of jumpers for goalposts it was an expensive affair as the goalposts were saville row jackets. One of the portly Lords grabbed George and said "come on lad we need a referree".

Stella was mortified but actually George was up for it and within minutes the two teams of inebriated peers of the realm were playing a proper game with proper conduct.

Until that is one of them tried to win a penalty with a dive.

George "booked" the said peer by pulling out a wad of post-it notes from his breast pocket.

"You cannot be serious" said his lordship.

"Oh yes I can" said George in true seasonal pantomime style. "We'll have no lords-a-leaping here. Or a-diving."

Their Lordships took a shine to George and Stella after that and one thing, as they say, led to another.

It was something of a classic night. They got home at four in the morning, chauffeured by someone in a car with diplomatic plates. The twins had left them a note saying "Most parents have problem children. We have problem parents. Hope the hangover isn't too bad".

"George" said Stella as they slid beneath the sheets. "Where did you get your refereeing skills from".

"I used to manage school matches as a teenager" said George. "Wasn't good enough to play but I liked rules so it was the next best thing".

"It was very ... well .... you were very sexy in dominant mode".

"Liked that did you?"

Stella lay back and smiled. "Maybe" she said.

"Game on" said George and turned out the light ...