Greta Garbo Gave Good Face

My Dear Princess & Dear Fellows,

Shepherd's Warning.

You're not effing kidding. This was the sky at 6.30am. By noon it was PISHING with icy, wintry, biting pish.

I spent most of today busy, but Lemon and me went for coffees together. She told me that something big went down at her karate club. She could tell something exciting was happening because all the teenage boys were clustered around. She rushed over, eager to see a new karate move but as she got over there, the crowd broke up with a huge "WOOOOOOAAH!!!" and there was even some applause.

"I reckoned it must have been something AMAZING," she said. She asked one of the onlookers.

"Mone just farted," he explained. 

That story was the highlight of my day. Which says something about my day.

On my way out of the office, Chantelle came rushing up after me. I don't know her that well. 

"I saw you leaving and I thought I'd keep you company," she said.

(Probably fancies me. These looks of mine are a CURSE.)

But anyway, then she did nothing but talk about effing WORK the whole way out of the office. I mean. Seriously. What the eff. This is UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR. I had to pretend to be interested, like a nob. Inside, I was doing a big karate-move fart.

I have decided to avoid Chantelle from here on.

In better news, Caro and I have become obsessed with Pose. I expect you will have seen it all already but I've only just found it on iPlayer. It is the best glamorous fun I've had since Empire. I suppose it has a bit of a "Tales of the City" vibe too.

Elektra Abundance is my very favourite character. She is my new role model. Maybe I'll Vogue my way out of the office tomorrow. That might put Chantelle off.

S.