The latest cosmetic must-have

Every square inch of skin covered in tattoos?

So many piercings you look like a human doily?

Every muscle frozen by botox?

Your eyebrows are threadbare?

Where to next for the body beautiful?

Look no further!

Buy Nippolac!

Stand out in a crowd with your lacquered nips!

Available in "Pink and Perky", "Chapel coat peg black" and "Camouflage"