Rest Easy

Oh, good, we can all rest easy now that the arrival of Christmas has been officially sanctioned by its main sponsor, Coca Cola. They parked a big truck in Liverpool One and scantily dressed (really - even in this weather) She-Santas handed out free cans of the official Christmas drink. And I thought we were supposed to drink Advocaat at this time of year. Who knew? The queues to have your photo taken in front of this iconic vehicle stretched down the street. Children grinned, parents fiddled with iPhones and we all knew that our troubles were dissolved away in a river of brown sickly sweet bollocks.

That's fake snow, by the way. FFS.