Water problems

Ring the central heating man " Paul, we have heating but no hot water since Saturday", "the boilers under warranty? Oh, you'll ring the boiler company? Ok"
Next day boiler company come "oh it's not the boiler? It's the shower causing the problem?"
Ring the plumber "please can you come and have look at our shower".
LATER ON, "yes, l can see all the controls are behind those tiles, no, l don't have any spare tiles. Just take one off carefully if you can". "What do you mean it is an obsolete part?" " Can you please just cap off the shower and l will give the matter some more thought - after a stiff drink!"

Thank heavens we have another shower - and hot water now - and telephones.