KIA ORANA!!!

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

I had a decent day today. I got through a lot of work and felt I was being useful. You know, it's quite a nice feeling.

I cannot help but cast my mind back to those dark days at Tesco Bank where I believe my official work title was "Senior Bump On A Log" or possibly "Senior One Legged-Man At Arse-Kicking Contest". That was rubbish. This job is much better.

Today Lemon shared a bit of Cook Island terminology with me. She told me that she had taken her boys to a pōwhiri (Maori greeting ceremony) at the weekend.

"And they were all doing the hongi. I hate the hongi."

Both Lemon and I are hayfever sufferers, so she's not keen on doing the hongi - the traditional rubbing of the noses greeting*. So instead she did the Cook Island greeting. Grabbing each of the assembled Maori by the hand and saying, "KIA ORANA!" while pumping their arm up and down vigorously.

"God mum, you're so LOUD," complained her boys. She took no notice.

"KIA ORANA! KIA ORANA! KIA ORANA! KIA ORANA!" she bellowed, as she worked her way down the line.

"You didn't want to do the hongi, huh?" said the last of the Maori greeters.

Lemon admitted she did not. 

"Well I hope you have a long life too," he responded.

"He was a Cook Islander!" said Lemon. "Or at least part Cook Islander!" 

She went on to explain that "kia orana" means "may you live a long and fulfilling life"**. 

"But there's more to it than that," she said. "You really have to WISH it. You have to put some ENERGY into it. If you just say, 'kia orana' or mumble it or something then it's almost an insult. Like you don't really mean it."

Hence the bellowing. 

I sort of like that. I feel we should do more of this ourselves. Insert SINCERITY into our greetings by dint of din. 

"GOOD MORNING!!!!" or "HAVE A NICE EFFING DAY!!!!" you could shout when you go into the office. Or "MAY YOU GET A CACTUS WEDGED SIDEWAYS UP YOUR BUMHOLE!!!!"  if one bumps into Roger The Nob.

But to you, my dear friends, it is a loud and emphatic:

KIA ORANA!!!!!!!

And now I am quite hoarse. I think I need a lie-down.

S.

* Caro tells me this is more to do with sharing someone's breath than actually rubbing noses. 

** Live long and prosper, Princess.