Life's a Gas

By first light this morning, bleary-eyed, and still half asleep, I was treated to the sounds of the pavement tiles in front of the house being removed. Oh joy, workmen. Again.

Downstairs, feed Igor, microwave porridge, prepare coffee.
In the background I was treated to a cacophony of (very loud) burping, groans and every 30 seconds the catchline of a supermarket advert ("HELLO JUMBO") whilst a big 'ole was being dug outside my front window. The latter statement was treated with much hilarity every time it was proclaimed.

Upstairs, shower, drying off, doorbell. Shit. Open bedroom window, poke my head out, could I please turn my gas off? It'll only take 10 minutes. Romeo and Juliet was never like this.
Apparently the last workmen fitted two taps where there should only have been one. Silly workmen!

Downstairs, turn gas off, back upstairs, get ready.
Doorbell. Could I turn it back on again? Right. Gas duly turned on. Do I cook with gas? Yes. Then that also needs to be checked by workman, it'll only take him a couple of minutes. Oh, good.
Muddy boots half-heartedly wiped on my front door mat, and the short walk to the kitchen leaves footsteps which would make the Yeti jealous. Igor sits and watches this strange man, slightly scared, he looks up at me as if to say "who is this idiot"?

That done, finally put my coat on ready to leave. The doorbell again, hurrah I was beginning to have withdrawal symptoms!

Oh, I'll need to reset the gas boiler. Now, this moment? It's in the loft. Yes, now because otherwise gas might get stuck in the pipes whilst I'm out, and later on will go BOOM! Not wanting to come home and find my dear little house razed to the ground like Manderley after the fire, I duly complied.

Open loft door, fold down ladder, climb into loft and reset. Climb back down, put on coat.

Get bike, prepare to leave, wave at the workmen who by now are having a coffee/sausage roll break.
I've reset it, may I go now? Yes, I can. Good. Oh, by the way, why didn't I received notification about this in advance? Well, this was going to take place last Friday, but the weather was bad, so it was postponed.
Oh, OK.

Friday, my day off, a leasurely lie-in, with coffee and well-fed cat. Would have been interrupted, peace shattered, bye-bye lie-in.

Thank you bad weather for making this (not) happen last Friday.

I swear this angel looked down and winked at me when I cycled past.