Censorship

My Dear Fellows & Dear Princess,

This was taken at about 6am. The lads discovered a sunbeam and collapsed into it, purring. 

Five minutes later, they were both in the shade, "Eff this for a lark," said Jasper.

You may notice that in the background there is a cat food bowl on the couch. That was where Punky decided he would breakfast on Sunday morning.

If you think we are animal bonkers in our house, you would be quite correct. Today, for example, we watched John Wick for the first time. We'd been considering this film for a while as it contains lots of violence and gunplay.

But on the other hand, we'd been reluctant to give it a go because SOMEONE KILLS A DOGGY in the film.

I KNOW!

Now I've sat through my share of death, horror, blood and programmes featuring Kirsty Allsop over the years. So I think I have a pretty strong stomach, but Cazza and I have a rule:

NO-ONE CAN BE MEAN TO ANIMALS ON THE TELLY.

We recently went to the pictures to see "Widows" and there is a moment of doggy-jeopardy in the film*. I could feel Cazza tense up in the cinema seat next to mine. I might have covered my eyes. So that is how bad it is for us. "A Fish Called Wanda" is like a horror film for us.

I will even scan David Attenborough documentaries on my laptop before I will allow Cazza to see them. We've been traumatised before:

ATTENBOROUGH: And so the mother nuzzles her lifeless pup, as if in mourning... several hours later, she eventually moves on.
CAZZA AND ME: OH MY GOOOOOOD!! NOOOOOOO!!!!

In fact, last week when we were staying with Craig & Feefs, Craig was idly channel-surfing when he came upon an old episode of "The Trials of Life".

CAZZA: This is the episode where a LITTLE MONKEY gets eaten by BIGGER MONKEYS.
ME: Change the channel! Change the CHANNELLLLLLLLL!!!

Craig was amazed we remembered that. "The Trials of Life" aired in the early 90's. But that moment was SEARED on our memories. We never forget a little monkey being eaten by bigger monkeys**.

So when I put on John Wick, and the adorable little baby beagle puppy appeared, Cazza and I steeled ourselves. 

"You close your eyes, and I'll fast-forward past the puppy-murder," I told her.

Unfortunately, one of us had to watch. I couldn't "Bird Box" it. But it went past really quick. I had it on 32x speed, and even though I suspect I  went too far and missed a bit of actual plot, there was no way I was going back.

And then it was all over. And we could enjoy the rest of the film in which Keanu Reeves shoots, stabs and MURDERS TO DEATH many people.

But so long as none of them had precious little fuzzy ears and waggy tails, we were totally cool with it. 

S.

* The doggy makes it. You can carry on and watch the film.

** I just found this article online. It turns out that even DAVID ATTENBOROUGH was traumatised by it.