Unplugged

Thanks to Dotty for the notion of a self-portrait that doesn't require the last full measure of bravery.

I see now what's going on. All last week I was completely absorbed in that project due Wednesday. I finished the work on Tuesday night, and I had a huge wave of euphoria (hence that poem and the circus-street). Then came the let-down, a mild depression that follows a show closing or any project that ends. A wandering loose-ended floatiness. "Who was I before? What was I doing?" There's a lift and dip related to the intensity, the engagement, and then something very like identity-loss when the work is done.

Today I realized I had been facing a screen for eighteen to twenty hours every day for the last two weeks, and what I really needed was to UNPLUG. I went for a three-hour stroll in the forest, all bundled up in down hat and muffler. My glasses kept fogging up in the cold wet air. It was just what I needed. Crows. The sound of rivulets running down hillsides. Escape from all phones and screens and human connections. Just me, the soggy ground, the trees, the moss, the wind, and the rain. Now I think I've got my balance back.