What is your deepest wish for your life?

I lit some candles last night and ran a bath to relax. This is a candle a good friend gave to me years ago and I love it :)

I have been feeling like I'm torn between what I what the most from my life recently. I made the decision to move to a flat to be more independent - mainly driven by unhappiness with living with my parents. And I realised yesterday that I'd done my sums wrong and can't afford it yet! Which made me feel quite deflated so say the least. (And a little stupid!)

Plus I realised I may need to focus elsewhere or end up back on sickness benefit for good. I love when insight hits you all at once - haha.

My other main goal - that I've wanted for years - is to set up my own business selling creative goods. I think it's make or break time too as I doubt I'll be ready to go back to work within the 6 months period (got 2 months left!). If I manage to get myself to a point - before work finishes me! - where I can do 16 hours split up over the week (into 30 min slots or similar) then I could possibly retain my Working Tax Credits. This would hopefully give me 6-12 months to start to make a profit. It's the only other option I can see at the moment to going back onto full benefits. And the process of applying for that is draining! Focusing on everything you can't do and being made to feel like a fraud is not something I want to go through again.

Life is feeling really uncertain at the moment as so much depends on my health/ energy levels. Not feeling quite as positive as I was the other day. But still the idea of starting where I am and taking things a step at a time seems to be the theme!