I am who I'm meant to be, this is me

Each night this week, we have been presented with entertainment. 

Each night, the children are entertained for an hour by the "Animators".  One is a very sweet boy, who hasn't yet found himself in this world, and the other a little girl, who hasn't yet mastered the art of the mic. 

After the "animation", which is always finished with Choo Choo Wah, comes the adult entertainment. 

We have had "The Very Best Pirate Show", we have had "the very best "Acrobatic Show", We have had "The Very Best Elton John", the Very Best Queen", The Very Best Charlie CIrcus, and tonight "Mister Sister"

Mister Sister, demonstrated his ability to dress as a drag queen, and mime to songs.   All very nudge nudge wink wink  (He included Mary Woodhouse - that's how old this act is)... until the end, when he did "This is Me" and stripped himself bare of the make up and glitz.   

When he was stripped down to Paul from Burnley, he was actually really funny - and kept the kids undercontrol and was really funny and abusive to those who needed it. 

Sitting in their entertainment lounge is a practise in maintaining anxiety levels. 

Tonight's anxiety started with the Lurve Making Germans.  A very weird pair, not physically attractive to you or me, but heavens above they are attracted to each other in a BIG way.  They Snog at Breakfast.   - I've caught them at it twice.  They have breakfast and on the way out, they can't resist. They lock lips and go for it. Hands prowling all over each others bodies.   Myself and waitress, the first time, stood opened mouthed, and then turned and looked at each other and stared. 

Tonight, She lay across the sofa's at the back.  he sat behind, both arms around her, one caressing her boob, and the other caressing her......   Okay - they are adults. Yes, they are, but they ALSO HAVE A VERY BADLY BEHAVED 7 YEAR OLD in their presence at all times.  

The 7 year old didn't like where they were sitting, and moved his chair beside us. - when I say beside, I mean right at our back, so the love-makers and their child were blocking the aisle (AGAIN).   Then the child threw his popcorn over us. and started screaming for attention from the parents, who eventually removed him, because his noise was beyond anything else in the room. (and was disturbing their lurve making).

the 47 year old's from Essex were throwing pop corn at each other, and pulling the chairs out from underneath themselves. 

The Spanish family in front of us.  The 3 year old was playing games on an iphone for 2 hours solid.  The 7 year old, was crying to his gran (All 35 years of her), that he was tired.  The mother of the 3 year old, was chatting with her little sister. In fact, shit, we don't know what relations they were. They might all have been brothers and sisters.  It was so confusing.  They were speaking both english and Spanish, and all agreed in keeping the children up way beyond when they should have been. 

There was the mother, who squeezed her baby almost to death, to stop her screaming, while she danced to her favourite song. The child was exhausted and was crying out for bed, but christ - "Don't blame it on the Boogie was on"  her mum HAD to dance.  

 There were the three kids on the stage, kicking a FOOTBALL.  - while the "main act" was introduced.  The parents oblivious to it and let them get on with it. 

The guy came out (with his singing partners - shop dummies tied to his arms) - and the kids stood there, open mouthed, TWO FEET from the star act, and STILL the parents did nothing.   Eventually the animators came on and dragged the kids off. 

Oh my god. I can't believe i actually was able to sit there and deal with it all going on round about me. 

The noise was unbelievable, this poor guy in loads of make up miming as though his life depended on it, and everyone was talking and shouting and waving and drinking. 

Sometimes, it's embarassing to be human. 

At the end.  We had a movie quiz.  One table won both prizes.  Because they all put the same answers in. 

Then they had karaoke. 

and a Scottish guy got up. 

And embarassed the whole nation. 

Again. 


(And before anyone starts on me, I am Scottish, and if I am embarassed by Scot's Embarassing themselves I will bloody well tell you)