Tuesday

Newhaven Harbour at night. 
It was a welcome distraction tonight, spending a while taking photos and walking. 

I am finding life really hard just now. Obviously it's a busy time of year and I can't cope with it all.  Family commitments and expectations. I am already getting really anxious about several family things over the holidays. But I know if I really can't do it I won't.
I am really struggling at work and have been so close to saying I can't do it. I don't want to give up as I only have this and next week before having 2 weeks off. 
Coming home from work I am so glad to get away from people and noise. 
Physically my body feels really heavy all the time and my legs are tingly and I just want to stay in bed. Close the curtains, and pretend there is no life outside. 

I have tried distractions; reading, colouring, going for a walk, giving myself tasks but several times I have self harmed.
This is when I wish I was still at counselling.